A gentle but firm warning to Johnny

My brother just sent me the following Facebook status update:

<Status Update
By Ben Fong-Torres
Just got an interesting assignment: Moderate a Q&A session with Johnny Depp, at a screening of his film, Rum Diary, at UC Berkeley on Monday. And why not? We have something in common: Hunter S. Thompson, author of ‘Rum.’ Gonna be fun. Especially if I bring some rum…>>
Okay, now I’m getting pissed.   Considering the fact that I moved to the South of France FROM the Bay Area, and since I’ve been here, the only time Johnny’s been in France was for Cannes, back in May, I’m beginning to take this personally.  For me, Johnny going to Berkeley which is my home town, now when I’m 6000 miles away devotedly stalking him is like a a slap in the face.
So Johnny, please don’t take this as a threat, but if you don’t get your butt back to the South of France soon, I’m going to have to reassess my stalking options.   I might be better off stalking Bono, even though there’s something about him that sickens me.
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