How to recognize Johnny Depp in a crowd of partially clad men.

After mistaking a sleeping shirtless homeless man for Johnny in Eze, I’ve taken it upon myself to read up on Johnny’s tattoos and their placement for easier identification.

Considering how many men walk around topless in the South of France (you thought it was just the women?), it’s unforgivable that I haven’t done it sooner.  I’ve wasted hours of valuable stalking time due to my sloppy background work.

I’ll never make that mistake again.

How to recognize Johnny if he’s wearing no shirt

If you see tattoos of “Wino Forever”, an Indian Chief in full headdress, the name Lily-Rose Melody (his daughter), “Silence Exile Cunning”, a heart with the name Betty Sue (his mother) across it, an odd looking character that figured in a movie he made years ago, an inverted black triangle and/or a flying swallow with the name Jack (his son) under it, you can be fairly certain it’s Johnny.   There may also be three hearts, a portrait of his grandfather, another skull and crossbones and a gonzo fist.

How to recognize Johnny if he’s wearing no pants

If the man doesn’t have a question mark (with an X instead of a dot) and a skull and crossbones with the phrase “death is certain” on his legs, it’s not Johnny.  Run!

Even fully dressed, there are signs

Look between the thumb and the index finger on the left hand for a number three (3), on the right index finger there should be three small triangles.

If the man is fully dressed and wearing gloves, you’re just going to have to go on gut instinct.

Here are some of his tattoos for reference.  Click here for a thorough guide to his tattoos, their meaning and exact placement.

 

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2 Responses to “How to recognize Johnny Depp in a crowd of partially clad men.”

  1. if the man is wearing no pants!!!

    good luck. looks like you’ve done a lot of work thus far. what WILL YOU DO, tho, when you do see him?!!!

    • Thanks, Lori. I hope he appreciates my efforts.
      When I do see him, my plan is to stammer something really stupid to him and flee. But I’ll leave one glass slipper behind. How will he be able to resist?

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